Educated

A friend of mine recently got his PhD. In economics, I believe. (By recently, I, of course, mean within the last 1-3 years... Precision isn't my strong point) This friend worked extremely hard and I was very impressed with the required efforts. So naturally I made light of this monumental accomplishment by referring to my friend - oh, bother, lets, henceforth, refer to said friend as Mutombo, for sanity sake - as Doctor Who, Doctor Frankenstein, Doctor Crusher, Doctor No, Doctor Evil, Doctor Zhivago, Doctor Doom, Doctor Octupus, (are you getting the picture?) Doctor Doctor, Doctor Feel Good, Doctor Light, ( I kid you not, I can continue this ad nauseum) Doctor Strangelove, Doctor Huxtable, Doctor McCoy, Doctor Jeckyll, Doctor Quinn, ... .. .. At any opportunity, I Christened Mutombo with a new Doctor moniker. Luckily for Mutombo (and probably, for my own health) I quickly ran out of Doctors. . .. .. In all honesty, I probably only thought of about half of those 'doctors' before I ran out out of names..... Yeah, looking back, I think what I actually said was "I hope you don't expect me to call you Doctor." Hmmm.... Yes, now its coming back. I did in fact say "I hope you don't expect me to call you Doctor." To which was replied "Of course not." Hmm. Well, maybe the next time I see Mutombo I can revisit this conversation and bestow upon him this new version now that I've imagined something a lot more obnoxious to say.

Top Five Obnoxious Moments

1) Listen, I have an MBA, please address me as Master.
2) I once received an email from a newly minted Project Management Professional. The signature looked like this : [John-ish Jane-like Doe], PMP, [This Company]. I responded to the email as appropriate, but I changed my signature so it looked something like this : [Monstrous Joe], PMP, MBA, MD, MP, LSD, CIO, DOA, DDS, LMNOP, CEO, Esq. [This Company].
3) Once, during my youth, I worked this all night Burger King drive thru window. On one particular night, I must have been exceedingly obnoxious, as some guy tried climbing over his wife(or gal friend), thru the driver side window trying to present to me a more physical rebuttal. Ah, those were the days.
4) I happen to know a great many Nebraska Cornhusker fans. 'Nuff said.
5) One fateful night as a senior in HS, myself and a carefully selected band of anonymous fellows, surrounded our school with several hundred for sale signs scavenged from thru-out the city. Let me tell you, those big wooden post placards are not easy to dig up.