The Cartoon Network has this brilliant set of cartoons that they play late in the evening (or early in the day, depending on your reference). These are my favorites:
Metalocalypse : The adventures of the worlds most brutal heavy metal band. A world economic power in themselves (currently the worlds 12th largest economy and growing) the band is under close scrutiny by a super secretive Cabal of world manipulators. Oh, also, they are not that bright.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force : Frylock, V. Shake, and Meatwad ostentatiously battle crime, but actually the oversized floating fries, legless vanilla shake and large ball of meat are visited at home by all manner of obnoxious beings much to the distress of their aging, but still swinging, neighbor, Carl.
Frisky Dingo : I’ve seen this a couple of times and I’m still not quite sure what is happening. What I do know is that an inept team of superflunkies with severe mental limitations is a recipe for hilarity.
The Venture Bros : The opening credits alone are worth the wait for this spoof on early mystery cartoons.
The Brak Show and Harvey Birdman : Brak is a suburbanite youth growing up with his two loving parents, oh, and also, he’s some kind of monster. Harvey Birdman is a superhero turned lawyer who defends other, strangely familiar, characters.
Honorable Mention:
Robot Chicken is a funny, stop motion satire of modern pop culture. Assy MgHee is outrageous and somewhat disturbing.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
One Kill Away
One of the hazards of cube farms ( cube farm: A grouping or arrangement of office work space into adjoining and regularly sized (8.5 x 5 feet) sections used by employers to maximize space needed and utilized by employees) is that most conversations that take place in a cubicle can be and most times are overheard by neighbors. Normally I dismiss conversations that I myself over hear, assigning them to the ‘white noise’ (and I don’t mean K-Fed) that permeates most corporate offices. However, some words resonate more than others and can therefore penetrate the ‘white noise’ with astounding ease. ‘KILL’ is one such word. When the word ‘KILL’ is uttered within 100 feet of me, I am 100 percent focused in and, I find, that I am almost always interested in the context in which the word was used. Mostly, I’m intrigued, interested, curious, investigative, puzzled by, inquisitive, and/or intrusive about how I may be affected by whatever context the word ‘KILL’ is used. Here, for example, are some less than ideal contexts: ‘Where is MJ?, I’m gonna KILL that (handsome) sunavabitch!’ or ‘I’m KILLing everyone (including the hot people) in this building!!’ or ‘I’m going to KILL the next nattily clad, belt wearing, extremely talented, handsome, athletic black genius I see!’
So, yesterday, upon reaching my ears from over the wall I share with the person to my right, I was immediately alert and interested in the context of the infamous word, and so, I took a moment to recall the sentence in which was contained the offending verb (noun, and sometime idiom): ‘I was one KILL away.’ Listening further, I discovered that the gentlemen over the wall from me were discussing their latest foray into the online game World of War Craft.
Whew!
Apparently, much killing was undertaken by these men’s alter ego druid-warrior-shaman force minotaur-troll-elflings and as they were about to win thru against dire and overwhelming odds, a snafu ensued where a healing priest was more interested in the virtual youth in the game rather than the virtual health of the players. .. I think. At any rate, you’ll be pleased to know, I was completely safe. . . .
This time.
So, yesterday, upon reaching my ears from over the wall I share with the person to my right, I was immediately alert and interested in the context of the infamous word, and so, I took a moment to recall the sentence in which was contained the offending verb (noun, and sometime idiom): ‘I was one KILL away.’ Listening further, I discovered that the gentlemen over the wall from me were discussing their latest foray into the online game World of War Craft.
Whew!
Apparently, much killing was undertaken by these men’s alter ego druid-warrior-shaman force minotaur-troll-elflings and as they were about to win thru against dire and overwhelming odds, a snafu ensued where a healing priest was more interested in the virtual youth in the game rather than the virtual health of the players. .. I think. At any rate, you’ll be pleased to know, I was completely safe. . . .
This time.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Not the Start I Would have Liked
Things that, taken on their own, do not, necessarily, point to a splendid, or even average, year:
The CEO of my company has said that ‘in order to be competitive and improve financials’ 5,000 jobs (people) must be cut. (Just for kicks, I looked up said CEOs compensation and while I couldn’t find anything for ought six, Mr. Moneybags raked in $25,377,666 in ought five compensation.) This is the second year of ‘downsizing’ and I’m curious to see what type of bonus this type of performance wins our illustrious CEO. This sudden development is more frustrating than stressful.
A woman I was mildly involved in informed me recently that ‘space’ is needed. This really confused me for a number of reasons. .. Ok, maybe just two reasons: 1) doesn’t one have to be exclusive prior to ‘space’ being needed? And 2) given that I’ve seen this person a grand total of once since December 24th and said occasion was distinguished by profession, nay, lamentations due to the lack of ‘quality’ time based on, what I can only assume was too MUCH space. This sudden development is more curious than alarming. (Ironically, many scientists who study the universe claim that as much as 95 percent of it remains unfound, and is in fact, MISSING which must be the cause of this woman’s otherwise inexplicable need for more, er, space.)
I forgot to wear a belt this morning. This predicament has caused me the most distress. Nattily clad is a term that almost never applies to a gentleman sans scintillating sash, without winsome waistband, nor bereft of beautiful band. Since I only wear such a device as an aesthetic, its easy to explain why it was overlooked from a purely functional standpoint, however, given my nearly pernicious zeal for pictorial picturesque and pleasing presentation, its amazing and remarkable that such a gaffe could occur. An now I’m in a funk.
The CEO of my company has said that ‘in order to be competitive and improve financials’ 5,000 jobs (people) must be cut. (Just for kicks, I looked up said CEOs compensation and while I couldn’t find anything for ought six, Mr. Moneybags raked in $25,377,666 in ought five compensation.) This is the second year of ‘downsizing’ and I’m curious to see what type of bonus this type of performance wins our illustrious CEO. This sudden development is more frustrating than stressful.
A woman I was mildly involved in informed me recently that ‘space’ is needed. This really confused me for a number of reasons. .. Ok, maybe just two reasons: 1) doesn’t one have to be exclusive prior to ‘space’ being needed? And 2) given that I’ve seen this person a grand total of once since December 24th and said occasion was distinguished by profession, nay, lamentations due to the lack of ‘quality’ time based on, what I can only assume was too MUCH space. This sudden development is more curious than alarming. (Ironically, many scientists who study the universe claim that as much as 95 percent of it remains unfound, and is in fact, MISSING which must be the cause of this woman’s otherwise inexplicable need for more, er, space.)
I forgot to wear a belt this morning. This predicament has caused me the most distress. Nattily clad is a term that almost never applies to a gentleman sans scintillating sash, without winsome waistband, nor bereft of beautiful band. Since I only wear such a device as an aesthetic, its easy to explain why it was overlooked from a purely functional standpoint, however, given my nearly pernicious zeal for pictorial picturesque and pleasing presentation, its amazing and remarkable that such a gaffe could occur. An now I’m in a funk.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Not Enough Information . . .
Happy New Year …
Later this week we’ll have (are expected to have) our third major storm in three weeks .. or is it fourth in four? At any rate, this type of weather is extremely uncommon for this region. Normally, I’m a big fan of the unique, bizarre, strange, etc. However, as you might expect, that list is limited to unique or uncommon things that do not irritate me to the ends of my patience (which is vast). As you may also expect, uncommon storms of extreme nature (such as blizzards) comes in at the top of the ‘irritate me to the ends of my patience’ list.
Quick aside: Most people, upon hearing my list of ‘irritate me …’ list will often offer up this bit of sage advice: ‘Huh… Maybe you ought to move?’ My first impulse is to bitch slap the individual, however, since I’m, you know, a grown up and the person in question is quite obviously ignorant (proven by said ‘sage’ advice), I will most often respond by smiling and saying: ‘Well, actually, the winters here are usually quite mild.’ Unfortunately, most of the people who provide this advice are familiar with the winters in this part of the country and so do not lack the requisite information needed to conclude, nay, observe the same fact of the regions weather patterns that I so succinctly provided for them, conclusively by which, I must conclude, disqualifies them as ignorant and casts them into the class of either an idiot or an agitator, quite probably both.
I’m sure there are those that attribute the severity and abnormality of the weather in this and other regions to global warming. Personally, I am loathe to agree or disagree with ‘those attributers’ because I lack the requisite information to rally to one side or another … as those sides relate to the cause, severity and/or abnormality of the weather (try to keep up). Of course, I have my own thoughts on the matter, however, I recognize that said thoughts are most assuredly derived from bits and pieces of data gathered, overheard, and or spied either out of context or within a context that was not fully understood. (which begs the question: if a context is not fully understood can the information retrieved be, technically, OUT of context, if only marginally? And are marginally out of context bits of information better or worse than completely out of context information? For example, hypothetically, for instance can an argument be made that, though, the context of a hypothetical politicians remarks were taken out of hypothetical context, said hypothetical political remark was only hypothetically marginally out of context … or marginally hypothetically out of context? .. What am I talking about, again?) Knowing this, it would be irresponsible for me to argue a position upon which I was only vaguely informed of, not to mention, interested in… also, never end a sentence in a preposition.
Unfortunately, and you may know this already, if you ever offer up a bit of your position, like, say, for example, whilst at a party where positions are flying around the room like Brittany Spears crotch shots on a (insert advanced technological device here), it is really quite easy to become the brunt of an agitator’s ire who may hold the opposite viewpoint of your bravely flung position and doesn’t hold to your noble and correct view that one should not argue on partially digested informational data retrieved marginally and or hypothetically out of context regardless of crotch shots received. … What day is this again?
Later this week we’ll have (are expected to have) our third major storm in three weeks .. or is it fourth in four? At any rate, this type of weather is extremely uncommon for this region. Normally, I’m a big fan of the unique, bizarre, strange, etc. However, as you might expect, that list is limited to unique or uncommon things that do not irritate me to the ends of my patience (which is vast). As you may also expect, uncommon storms of extreme nature (such as blizzards) comes in at the top of the ‘irritate me to the ends of my patience’ list.
Quick aside: Most people, upon hearing my list of ‘irritate me …’ list will often offer up this bit of sage advice: ‘Huh… Maybe you ought to move?’ My first impulse is to bitch slap the individual, however, since I’m, you know, a grown up and the person in question is quite obviously ignorant (proven by said ‘sage’ advice), I will most often respond by smiling and saying: ‘Well, actually, the winters here are usually quite mild.’ Unfortunately, most of the people who provide this advice are familiar with the winters in this part of the country and so do not lack the requisite information needed to conclude, nay, observe the same fact of the regions weather patterns that I so succinctly provided for them, conclusively by which, I must conclude, disqualifies them as ignorant and casts them into the class of either an idiot or an agitator, quite probably both.
I’m sure there are those that attribute the severity and abnormality of the weather in this and other regions to global warming. Personally, I am loathe to agree or disagree with ‘those attributers’ because I lack the requisite information to rally to one side or another … as those sides relate to the cause, severity and/or abnormality of the weather (try to keep up). Of course, I have my own thoughts on the matter, however, I recognize that said thoughts are most assuredly derived from bits and pieces of data gathered, overheard, and or spied either out of context or within a context that was not fully understood. (which begs the question: if a context is not fully understood can the information retrieved be, technically, OUT of context, if only marginally? And are marginally out of context bits of information better or worse than completely out of context information? For example, hypothetically, for instance can an argument be made that, though, the context of a hypothetical politicians remarks were taken out of hypothetical context, said hypothetical political remark was only hypothetically marginally out of context … or marginally hypothetically out of context? .. What am I talking about, again?) Knowing this, it would be irresponsible for me to argue a position upon which I was only vaguely informed of, not to mention, interested in… also, never end a sentence in a preposition.
Unfortunately, and you may know this already, if you ever offer up a bit of your position, like, say, for example, whilst at a party where positions are flying around the room like Brittany Spears crotch shots on a (insert advanced technological device here), it is really quite easy to become the brunt of an agitator’s ire who may hold the opposite viewpoint of your bravely flung position and doesn’t hold to your noble and correct view that one should not argue on partially digested informational data retrieved marginally and or hypothetically out of context regardless of crotch shots received. … What day is this again?
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