Monday, January 08, 2007

Not Enough Information . . .

Happy New Year …

Later this week we’ll have (are expected to have) our third major storm in three weeks .. or is it fourth in four? At any rate, this type of weather is extremely uncommon for this region. Normally, I’m a big fan of the unique, bizarre, strange, etc. However, as you might expect, that list is limited to unique or uncommon things that do not irritate me to the ends of my patience (which is vast). As you may also expect, uncommon storms of extreme nature (such as blizzards) comes in at the top of the ‘irritate me to the ends of my patience’ list.

Quick aside: Most people, upon hearing my list of ‘irritate me …’ list will often offer up this bit of sage advice: ‘Huh… Maybe you ought to move?’ My first impulse is to bitch slap the individual, however, since I’m, you know, a grown up and the person in question is quite obviously ignorant (proven by said ‘sage’ advice), I will most often respond by smiling and saying: ‘Well, actually, the winters here are usually quite mild.’ Unfortunately, most of the people who provide this advice are familiar with the winters in this part of the country and so do not lack the requisite information needed to conclude, nay, observe the same fact of the regions weather patterns that I so succinctly provided for them, conclusively by which, I must conclude, disqualifies them as ignorant and casts them into the class of either an idiot or an agitator, quite probably both.

I’m sure there are those that attribute the severity and abnormality of the weather in this and other regions to global warming. Personally, I am loathe to agree or disagree with ‘those attributers’ because I lack the requisite information to rally to one side or another … as those sides relate to the cause, severity and/or abnormality of the weather (try to keep up). Of course, I have my own thoughts on the matter, however, I recognize that said thoughts are most assuredly derived from bits and pieces of data gathered, overheard, and or spied either out of context or within a context that was not fully understood. (which begs the question: if a context is not fully understood can the information retrieved be, technically, OUT of context, if only marginally? And are marginally out of context bits of information better or worse than completely out of context information? For example, hypothetically, for instance can an argument be made that, though, the context of a hypothetical politicians remarks were taken out of hypothetical context, said hypothetical political remark was only hypothetically marginally out of context … or marginally hypothetically out of context? .. What am I talking about, again?) Knowing this, it would be irresponsible for me to argue a position upon which I was only vaguely informed of, not to mention, interested in… also, never end a sentence in a preposition.

Unfortunately, and you may know this already, if you ever offer up a bit of your position, like, say, for example, whilst at a party where positions are flying around the room like Brittany Spears crotch shots on a (insert advanced technological device here), it is really quite easy to become the brunt of an agitator’s ire who may hold the opposite viewpoint of your bravely flung position and doesn’t hold to your noble and correct view that one should not argue on partially digested informational data retrieved marginally and or hypothetically out of context regardless of crotch shots received. … What day is this again?

2 comments:

GETkristiLOVE said...

I knew it was going to turn sexual.

Terri said...

Two words. El Nino. Or is it La Nina. Either way, I am of the quite ill-informed, marginally educated, totally oblivous opinion that the snow storm, weather caused by global warming or God or both for that matter, is going to cause more slush/mud/dirty slacks on the way to work!