What Do You Mean, You Don’t Like Prince?

Once, during my Jr. High school days, I insisted that people call me Jacob E. Purple, so, of course, no one called me anything but geek guy from Mr. Padilla’s class. The point is, that this failed attempt at a really impressive alias was my little tribute to The Artist Formerly Known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, AKA, Prince. This was during the height of the Revolution’s popularity, back when Purple Rain was No.1 on the album charts (now as I’ve said before, facts and/or accuracy isn’t really my bag, so if it wasn’t No.1, it certainly should have been), Purple Rain the movie was No.1 at the box office (see note above regarding accuracy) and When Dove’s Cry was the No.1 single (do I really have to qualify another statement? Do I? Really?). And, I, dear reader, was the Purple One’s biggest fan.

Thru high school and into college and beyond, I continued to have an affinity for the music of Prince in his many incarnations. In what can only be described as giddy envy, I both cheered and groaned when Prince changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol. I was mightily chagrined that I hadn’t the forethought to think of this little piece of ingenuity myself, yet exalted in the fact that the genius that is Prince was the origin of one of the most brilliant marketing decisions I’ve ever seen (you may not know this, but I know little to nothing about marketing, so take that last statement for what its worth… its still brilliant). The thought of people struggling to call to me from across the (insert whatever large and area covering structure/place here) tripping over themselves in (assuredly) humorous attempts to get my attention (I think large cards with my ‘name/symbol’ emblazoned in purple on them would have done the trick.) would have been an eternal source of entertainment for myself and, presumably, others.

Later, after college, I’ve grown to respect Prince’s tireless work ethic (he averages a CD release a year) though, I must say, I’ve cut back drastically on the hero worship. However, when they announce that his Purple Highness would be the halftime entertainment to the worlds most hyped event, I can honestly say I was excited for the first time in, you know, ever, to see a halftime show (I wasn’t going to bust on the Stones or McCartney or JT and JJ, but seriously, did anyone want to see a bunch of skinny, wrinkly, nearly fossilized rockers or the least favorite former Beatle, and, besides the boob-gate [and honestly, who hadn’t already seen Janet’s breasts?] JT and JJ were, eh, boring.)!

What did I think of the show, you ask? NAILED IT! Blew it away! Awesome! Did I say, awesome? Yes, I think I did.

Here are some of the reasons (randomly selected from people who I have asked if they liked the show and/or Prince) people don’t like Prince:

1) He had sex with an underage girl on stage during a concert.
2) He wears heals.
3) He’s gay.
4) He’s weird.
5) He can’t sing.

Seriously.

And you wonder why I think 99% of people are morons.