Some of you (GKL) may immediately recognize this as the favorite phrase of those kooky cyborg goons from the Next Generation Star Trek franchise of the late 80s early 90s. I’m fairly certain that they were, collectively, called the Borg. And, I believe, individually referred to as Bob.
For those of you that don’t know, the Borg, was a threat to the Federation (Kirk, Sulu, Picard, etc.) because they wanted to turn every one in the known universe into hot scantily clad babes, i.e. Jeri Ryan aka Seven of Nine aka Seven. Now, except for maybe Sulu, I don’t really see why the Federation had such a problem with this, but, there it is.
Anyway, the Borg (when together) or Bob (individually), depending on availability, would declare war on unexpected alien species by tapping into their victim’s ship’s speaker systems and loudly declaring ‘YOU WILL BE ASSIMILIATED’ often followed by an equally loud and dramatic ‘RESISTANCE IS FUTILE’ and on some occasions, the song ‘Blame it on the Rain’ by Milli Vanilli (Did you know that the actual singers of the songs of which Fab and Rob made stunning music videos of gyrations, hopping and hair whipping, released an album after the whole Grammy fiasco? Neither did I!). At which point the victim’s would hop around, run in place and morph into hot scantily clad babes (In the Star Trek movie where the Borg were featured [I think it was Star Trek XXLI], the hot scantily clad babe was replaced by the disturbing half-babe on a stick aka Alice Krige. I failed to see the wisdom in this decision).
This happened on several occasions to the Picard crew, but they often escaped by freezing the Borg into stasis by referring to themselves as ‘down wit da Borg-izzy’ and transmitting Justin Timberlake videos onto the sides of the Borg’s gigantic cube shaped vessels. This is how they kidnapped Seven aka Seven of Nine aka Jeri Ryan aka way hot boob bot.
Anyway, and this is my point … uh … hmm, I seem to have lost my point…
Wait, assimilation! I was going to talk about assimilation and the Star Trek thing was just a helpful segue. Speaking of Segue’s, am I the only one that thinks Gob from Arrested Development was one of the greatest TV characters of all time? Brilliant, I say!
Anyway, as I was saying, assimilation.
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2 comments:
I only have one problem with your scattered rantings about Borg, Bob, and Boobs - the Borg weren't around in Kirk and Sulu's day and if they were, I'm sure Sulu would have wanted to be assimulated by Hugh, Third of Five.
GKL - Sulu was vital to this particular rant ... also, i'm sure they were around, but they were frightened by Kirk's hair.
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