Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Random Stuff and How to Celebrate Diversity

As a youngster my main obsession was making sure everyone knew that I wasn’t a conformist; that I was unique among the masses, that I was different. I accomplished this in a variety of ways, most of which, invariably, earned me the reputation as the strangely odd kid. For example:

For a time I would spell Mike or Michael (my real world name) as Myche and Mychel.

During events that involved large amounts of people moving from place to place (think; entering a stadium) I refused to follow people, creating my own thorough fairs and paths. When questioned about this behavior, I would say that I wasn’t a sheep and that I didn’t follow herds.

I still think I’m fairly unique, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it is mostly a symptom of an odd personality.


I’ve seen a few movies so far this year:

Dream Girls – This was surprisingly good movie with some remarkable performances, the best being by that American Idol chick, Jennifer Hudson. Beyonce has big shoulders. I did not know that. If she isn’t careful, she’ll be big like Aretha in a few years. Eddie Murphy’s acting was ok, I guess, I wasn’t really moved by it, although, it could have been that Jennifer was so astounding that the rest of the cast was woefully inadequate in comparison.

The Pursuit of Happyness – Powerful film. I did not know that Will Smith’s son played the kid in the movie. Other than his music, there isn’t much to dislike about Will Smith.

Pan’s Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno) – I found this to be extremely satisfying. Independent films really breathe life into the sterility and staleness of Hollywood. Related to this, a friend of mine said that her ex-husband took their two little kids to see this movie. Needless to say, he isn’t that smart. In fact, he is kind of a moron.

Ghost Rider – Was Nick Cage ever a good actor? Was Raising Arizona some kind of fluke? Other than the motorcycle of fire, this movie isn’t that great. Eva Mendes is hot, sure, but she couldn’t out act my 8 year old. The teaser for the movie is way better than the actual movie. I hate when that happens. Back to Nick; he is actually kind of amusing as he plays this character as a sort of watered down Elvis. He doesn’t exactly steal the King’s way of pointing, but, and this is where the amusement comes in, every time he spoke I expected him to break into Jailhouse Rock.

The Bridge to Taribithia – I hate it when you think a movie is about one thing (to be fair, this assumption is based purely on teasers since I rarely read what critics say) and you go and see the movie and it’s a completely different deal. It is similar to ordering a garden salad and being served a plate of sea scavengers. This has happened to me twice. The first time was in Vegas a thousand years ago. I don’t remember the movie, but I was so disappointed (I felt like I was the victim of false advertisement) I left in the middle of the movie. And that is saying something as I rarely start something I’m not prepared to finish. I once sat through Little Nicky in its entirety (though I wasn’t able to function normally for several hours afterward).

Happily N’ever After – People should be ashamed to produce such garbage.

Back to Ghost Rider… I like comics and had quite a few as a kid. In fact, comics are what my dad used to interest me in reading. So, when a great character from comics is adapted for film, I try to go see it (Bet you didn’t know that Nick Cage chose his stage name based on a comic character . . . which could explain much). So far here are the ones they have made the big screen:

Superman: The second Christopher Reeves movie was the best. They have been crap since then.
Punisher: Second incarnation was horrible, but the first try was truly painful.
Batman: The Prince one was good but they slowly eroded to the painful point of Clooney and Schwarzenegger. The Christian Bale one was good also.
Ghost Rider: Cool flaming motorcycle.
Spiderman – These have been entertaining.
The Phantom – Ug.
Darkman – The first one was mildly interesting.
The Shadow – Its funny to think of 30 Rock’s Alec Baldwin and the Shadows’s Alec Baldwin switching places for a few episodes.
Dick Tracy – Great cast, horrible execution.
X-men – The third one was a complete waste of time, the other two were entertaining.
Fantastic Four – Other than, possibly, seeing Jessica Alba wearing invisible clothes, I’m not sure what reason there was for making a sequel.
The Hulk – I have no idea what Ang Lee was trying to convey. I was really disappointed in this film that had such huge potential.


Crushes are interesting things. Personally, I feel that they are a sending from my future self (or rather, one of my infinite number of future selves) telling me how great a time I am having (in the future) with the girl on whom I have the present day crush. I’m working on a way of telling my future selves to inform this same said good time not only to myself, but also to the recipient of my crush. You’d think this would be a fairly obvious thing, so it doesn’t surprise me that my future self (or, rather, one of my infinite number of future selves) hasn’t thought of it as I tend to ignore fairly obvious things.


I met a porn star over the weekend. Interestingly enough, no sending. I asked Special K (porn star nick name) how one decides to become a porn star as I was genuinely curious. She said, and I’ll quote ‘Men only wanted me for sex, so I thought I’d at least get paid for it.’

Huh. Well, I guess that is one way to solve that problem. Not being one to judge, I sort of suggested that maybe she might want to try something else in order to change the way these men were treating her (I’m a giver). Well, I won’t bore you with the details but out of the conversation the following facts were revealed:

1) Since starting in the porn industry in August, Special K has done 20 movies. She also said the average star does three a year.

2) She is debating the option of becoming a lesbian since men are not that into her.

3) She has been described as ‘a deep person’ by people who know her.

If you haven’t guessed, it was one of the most entertaining conversations I’ve had and I will be hard pressed to top it. I’m not kidding. Maybe all year.


How to celebrate diversity:

1) Find your comfort zone.
2) Step outside of your comfort zone.

3 comments:

Melissa said...

Men aren't into Special K, yet she is a porn star because they only wanted her for sex? Cry me a river, Special K.

Terri said...

It's true, you march to the drum of a different beat. Or, wait, what?

MonstrousJoe said...

NYGAL - Many are Special K's issues.

Terr - Not to drum my own beat, but I'm an ignorgenius. Duh.