Later, at the ...

Ok, before I continue my fully factual and completely accurate accounting of my long weekend, I must first confess that I know that I spelled Pomeranian (sp) wrong just now as well as yesterday. Now, normally, I'm a bit of a stickler when it comes to speling, hoever, somtimes things jus don't work out the weigh you would like so ewe'll have to excus the ocasional mispelled word, now won't you?

So, where was I.... Yes, now its coming back... (Key flashback music. Key flashback effects, and in 3... 2... )

Now, I'm ready for my relaxing weekend. If you've never seen a Dodge Stratus, (AKA Stratta. Shaddup) its not a bad looking car as midsize cars go, so I wasn't completely let down. No, the let down is from realizing that a Skipperkee has more horse power than this fine piece of Chrysler engineering.

So, as I scoot down I-10, wondering if I would have more power if I peddled like the bloody Flintstones, several things occur to me:

1) The weather is extremely nice.
2) Wearing a jacket in CO this time of year is smart, wearing one if AZ is just asking for trouble.
3) The idiots that enjoy driving the interstates in Denver have all come down to enjoy the sunshine right along with me on the Phoenix interstates.
4) Driving across town in Phoenix is similar in scope to driving across Texas. The state. Seriously, could this place BE any further spread out?
5) I've been in the car less than 20 minutes and I've already heard the same song 27 thousand times on the radio.
6) Every time I come to Phoenix, they are widening the hiways. I don't know for sure, but I imagine in a few more years their won't be any place for people to live due to the 60 mile wide roads.

From I-10, I head north on the 101 loop. After several minutes on the 101, I notice a huge structure off to my right. It looks sort of like those huge water processing stations from that 80s tv saga, V. Its humongous. It dawns on me while I'm gaping at it, that this is a football stadium. The people in Phoenix are getting a new dome. For the Cardinals?? Are you kidding me? The flipping Arizona Cardinals are getting a domed stadium? And not just any stadium, this thing is magnificent! Its unbelievable! I found out later that its the site of the SB in 2008. Sheesh. Hope the Cardinals win a game or two up until then.

I take the Grand Avenue exit off the 101 and head NW. This street will get me to Sun City West. Eventually. I mean, Phoenix is unbelievable. You can't get anywhere in this town without packing a days worth of meals to avoid the risk of starvation. Anyhow, I eventually get into Sun City West. For those who have yet to experience Sun City West, let me list some observations:

1) Sun City West is in fact not the west side of Sun City. Sun City is a separate city with no relation to Sun City West other than the same developer got mad bills for building them.
2) The sign that says Surprise! isn't really offering you anything exciting... Its just telling you that there is in fact a city called Surprise.
3) The golf carts you see motoring around and in between the cars on the streets are perfectly legal. In fact, that is how most of the citizens get around. In fact, most houses here have a golf cart sized garage attached to their regularly sized garage.
4) The place is immaculate. Impeccable. The trees are groomed, the yards are manicured, the scenery is pristene, the scent of spring blossoms permeates everything; really, its quite impressive.
5) This guy from Wisconsin is going to hit me with his bloody 40 foot Lincoln and not even feel a bump.
6) The senior citizens in this town are rolling in Escalades with 22 inch chrome wheels straight out of your favorite hip hop video - you know, when not puttering in the customized golf carts.

So, I finally make it to the Aunts. Lets see, from the time I got up at 4:30AM MT to the time I make it to the door, its only been 6 hours.... Not bad for seeming like a lifetime.... TBC