Kidman is hot, Witherspoon is not

I don't watch award shows, but I do like to get the summaries ... and I like to see what the hotties wear.. (I may have said this before).

On that note, here are my thoughts :

The Oscar Photos

Nicole Kidman is an elegant beauty. Reese Witherspoon is alien headed.

Kiera Knightley gave an example of someone who looks good in heavy eye makeup while Uma Thurman gave an example of someone who, you know, doesn't. Ditto Amy Adams.

Did Chalize Theron really wear a giant black ribbon in place of a gown?

Hilary Swank (pictured) gave the best example of the less is more in the makeup category. I was surprised at how hot she can be.

Queen Latifah is big and beautiful. Jada Pinkett is itty-bitty and beautiful.

Jessica Alba used to be hot. Now she is hardly there at all.

Jennifer Lopez looks good in green... And there appears to be more of her to look at.

Jennifer Anniston may still be affected by envious green.

I believe Terrence Howard will be taking Clint Eastwood's place as the next big time squinty actor guy.

Naomi Watts; hideous dress, beautiful smile.

I'm not sure who Michelle Williams is, but someone should have told her that garden squash is not an acceptable color for her. Or for anyone, really. But if you must wear a garden squash colored dress, shouldn't you not wear bright red lipstick? I mean, I don't know for sure, being, you know, a non make up wearer. Someone set me straight on that.

I didn't know the Bionic Man was still alive!!!! Wow! And he's not even psycho like his old flame Farah.

I'm not sure who Lisa Rinna is, but she is ripped. Hotness quotient off the scales. She gave the winning performance in the sultry looks category.

My 'Monet' category winner is going to have to be Samantha Harris. Wow, listen, if George Hamilton has taught us anything, its when to apply the less is more principle to tanning.