Why I may or may not reach 45

Ok, hold onto your hats here, but MEN try to IMPRESS WOMEN.

I know, it’s a shocker. And, as it turns out, that is what these guys are attributing to men not living as long as women. It seems us men type are expending so much energy trying to get some nookie that we are forgetting to breath and/or eat. Or something like that; its all very scientific so I’m just summarizing here.

I think these guys are on to something and here is why:

I fell out of a bus once while trying to be cool enough to impress women.

Yes, a bus. Yes, fell out. Yes, I FELL out of a BUS.

Now, this sort of thing isn’t the same as expending needed energy for living, but it certainly ups the old 'accidental/stupidity' mortality risk.

I’m sure I’ve nearly caromed off of many bridges or nearly driven into on coming traffic simply because I’m trying to focus in on that large breasted woman in my rear view mirror as apposed to, say, clearly stated an agreed upon driving regulations. I just don’t realize that I’ve nearly avoided that near catastrophe because I’m too busy figuring out which fantasy is best with THAT particular big breasted jogger (and, now, I never bellow, hoot, holler, nor leer too openly).*

Basically, what I’m saying is this, guys don’t care if they die as long as they get some action, ya dig? … Hmmm.. is that what I was saying? I don’t really recall what I was talking about as this really hot red hea..….

*Naturally, this sort of behavior has ended now that I am dating a fabulous and funny female femme fatale… fellatio. (Listen, you try to have an ‘F’ alliteration without throwing in that last one. Go, on, just try it. YOU CAN’T DO IT! It just jumps on the end of its own volition!)