Not the Start I Would have Liked

Things that, taken on their own, do not, necessarily, point to a splendid, or even average, year:

The CEO of my company has said that ‘in order to be competitive and improve financials’ 5,000 jobs (people) must be cut. (Just for kicks, I looked up said CEOs compensation and while I couldn’t find anything for ought six, Mr. Moneybags raked in $25,377,666 in ought five compensation.) This is the second year of ‘downsizing’ and I’m curious to see what type of bonus this type of performance wins our illustrious CEO. This sudden development is more frustrating than stressful.

A woman I was mildly involved in informed me recently that ‘space’ is needed. This really confused me for a number of reasons. .. Ok, maybe just two reasons: 1) doesn’t one have to be exclusive prior to ‘space’ being needed? And 2) given that I’ve seen this person a grand total of once since December 24th and said occasion was distinguished by profession, nay, lamentations due to the lack of ‘quality’ time based on, what I can only assume was too MUCH space. This sudden development is more curious than alarming. (Ironically, many scientists who study the universe claim that as much as 95 percent of it remains unfound, and is in fact, MISSING which must be the cause of this woman’s otherwise inexplicable need for more, er, space.)

I forgot to wear a belt this morning. This predicament has caused me the most distress. Nattily clad is a term that almost never applies to a gentleman sans scintillating sash, without winsome waistband, nor bereft of beautiful band. Since I only wear such a device as an aesthetic, its easy to explain why it was overlooked from a purely functional standpoint, however, given my nearly pernicious zeal for pictorial picturesque and pleasing presentation, its amazing and remarkable that such a gaffe could occur. An now I’m in a funk.